The Five-Part Story
"We involuntarily enter the bodies of those around us so that their movements and emotions echo within us as if they’re our own [from the beginning of life].”
— The Age of Empathy, Frans de Waal (2010)
Part 1: The Nature of Humans
Whereas once humans were described by scientists and philosophers as primarily aggressive and competitive and in need of social and political institutions to control our violent impulses, new and old research across a wide range of disciplines underscores our capacity for empathy, cooperation, altruism, and our desire for relationship.
"[We] are wired to be social. We are driven by deep motivations to stay connected to friends and family. We are naturally curious about what is going on in the minds of other people… We will spend our entire lives motivated by social connection.”
— Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, Matthew Lieberman (2013)
Part 2: The Roots of the Crisis of Connection
While the research underscores our human capacity and desire to live in relationships, contemporary society rests on a set of ideologies, values, and beliefs that divide us from ourselves and each other. We devalue our friendships and emphasize our individual achievements. We privilege stereotypically masculine qualities over feminine ones and insist on a set of stereotypes that perpetuate a hierarchy of humanness.
"Infant brains are so malleable that what begin as small differences at birth become amplified over time, as parents and teachers - and the culture at large - unwittingly reinforce gender stereotypes.”
— Pink Brain, Blue Brain, Lise Eliot (2010)
Part 3: The Crisis of Connection
This clash between our culture and our nature leads to a crisis of connection. We see it in the declining levels of trust and empathy and the increasing rates of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and isolation over the past century. The decline in trust and empathy underscores the disconnection to others while the increase in anxiety and depression underscores our growing disconnection from ourselves.
“People began to tell me they felt isolated, invisible, and insignificant… people of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds, from every corner of the country, would tell me, ‘I have to shoulder all of life’s burdens by myself,’ or ‘if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice.’”
— Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General (2023)
Part 4: The Consequences of the Crisis of Connection
The consequences of the crisis of connection are made up of two components. One explicitly links the declining rates of empathy and trust with increasing or high levels of income inequality, educational inequity, violence (e.g., police violence, sexual assault), and hate crime. The other links the increasing rates of depressive symptoms, anxiety, loneliness, and social isolation with suicide, drug addiction, domestic and mass violence (e.g., occupation and genocide against Palestine), and physical health problems, including death.
“…We became aware that almost all problems which are more common at the bottom of the social ladder are [also] more common in more unequal [industrialized] societies… Modern societies are, despite their affluence, social failures.”
— The Spirit Level, Wilkinson and Pickett (2009)
Part 5: Solutions to the Crisis of Connection
The solution to the crisis of connection is to foster resistance to disconnection in our homes, schools, workplaces, and communities. These solutions must reinforce the belief that the problems we face cannot be solved simply at the individual level, but must be addressed through individual and collective actions that resist ideologies that dehumanize, with a focus on affirming our common interests and goals and recognizing each other’s full humanity, such as the BDS movement. The Listening Project is one solution that targets the roots of the Crisis of Connection through a focus on schools and communities.
"So it's like, that's one of the things I love too, not just listening to their stories, but when they start, you know, in that time when they share. That they see more of the person and also when they say why they want to interview that person. And yeah, that to me is really beautiful. Like listening to them say like, I want to learn more, I want to see more, I want to know more, I want to get closer. Little things like that."
— 7th Grade Teacher Reflecting on The Listening Project